Chemo #1

Why does this still feel like a bad dream?

Well the first dose of chemo is in! When I last posted I was waiting for Mike to come back from getting a port put in so they could start chemo. They had used conscious sedation, which means he didn't need to be intubated, instead he just slept through it. They were unsucessful with the left side and so it ended up on the right, just below the collar bone. I have seen quite a few ports before, but I think his is the first I have seen that sticks out so much (because he is so skinny). The highlight of my week was watching him come out of sedation. He was so loopy. I couldn't help but laugh as he tried to talk and slurred his words. He kept asking the same question over and over and over again. "What side is my port on?" He also kept reassuring me with this loopy smile, "I slept through the whole thing" (shocker!). I was glad to see that he didn't look quite as pasty white as with the last surgery.

From the hospital we took him over to the cancer clinic. We had started the morning at the hospital at 6:30am and we were at the clinic by 11:00am. I was so glad that my mom came up to be with me during this time. Well Mike is receiving what is known as the ABVD treatment course. He receives all four of the drugs right after each other. With the surgery sedation still wearing off and with some IV benadryl on board he slept through most of his chemotherarpy. I have to admit, I don't feel like we belong at the clinic. Everyone else there seems so much older. It is interesting to watch the dynamics and listen to their conversations. Chemotherapy is given in a big circular room with a bunch of lazy boys, so those there are able to sit around and visit.

We finally left there about 2:30 pm and then after a long stop at the pharmacy we were on our way home. We picked up Mike a Subway because he really hadn't eaten all day, and although he didn't really feel like eating, he did anyway. Not too long after Mike was home and in bed he started feeling sick. The anti-nausea medicine they gave us was not working. Mike couldn't move from his back and had to be in a dark room, he couldn't handle anything touching his stomach, and was all around sick and miserable. He thew up anything he had eaten earlier that day and refused to eat anything else.

Tuesday started out okay, Mike left the bedroom for a little while to visit with my mom, and his mom, that came to stay. Our office/craft room now has a full size bed for people to stay while visiting. Well before long it was back in bed for another miserable day. I called the clinic and got some Zofran ordered to see if that would help. It didn't... Tuesday night he felt well enough to watch a movie with me :) It has just been so hard to see him so miserable. He is always so positive and happy and strong. He has remained so but I can tell it is a lot harder to smile, when all you want to do is puke. Which he did, even though he really didn't have much to throw up.

This morning felt like it wasn't going anywhere better. Without having really left the bedroom I am surprised Mike wasn't going crazy. We did get some sheets changed and febreeze going in an attempt to help freshen up the room. By the afternoon I had got a hold of the cancer clinic and got some Phenergran ordered. I was also able to talk with the Oncologist. Apparently this isn't a normal reaction to his chemotherapy treatment, especially so soon after therapy started. In my mind I am thinking this is a bad sign, because each round is just going to beat him harder. If he isn't able to hold down fluid and some food tonight we reevaluate in the morning.

Luckily he is starting to feel on the up side. He ate some dinner (pancakes) and even ventured out for a ride in the car. It is nice to see him all smiley again :) :). I really can't believe the support we have received. Isn't it comforting to know that we aren't going to be tried to the point of something we can't handle. Looking back to my oncology days on 7th Heaven at UVRMC, I was always so amazed at how positive the cancer patients were. I remembered a few specifically that I would walk in, and within a minute they had somehow taken all the focus off of themselves and made me feel better about myself. Mike is the same way, I still feel like he is doing a better job of comforting me then I am of helping him, but I am trying. We are so grateful forall the thoughts, prayers and acts of kindness we have received.