Christmas

I can't believe that it was just one month ago that my world seemed to flip upside down. It has felt like a whirlwind, which gives me hope that these next couple of months will fly by and then we can move on with our lives!

We had a wonderful holiday. Mike was feeling really good the week of Christmas. We were able to go to some family parties and see some good friends. Christmas Eve I ended up being put on call. I was pretty excited about it. We had a pretty low key Christmas Eve in Logan because I couldn't leave being on call. I was able to act out the nativity with my 3 yr old niece and 1 yr old nephew, who had a little fight over the gift to baby Jesus. We played some games and after we left we visited my work to bring some Christmas cheer to my coworkers.

We drove down Christmas morning at 5:00 am (when I was no longer on call), which put us in Alpine in time to open presents at the Gottfredsons before heading over to the Stevens to talk to my brother on a mission in Ethiopia. We spent the rest of the day with hanging out with family, and were able to stay in Alpine Sunday as well.

Monday we headed up to start round #2 of chemo. We had high hopes that things would go better this time since he didn't have anesthesia from surgery on board (like last time) and since we had better anti-nausea meds. Well once we got home Mike was kind of hyper and loopy for 10 mintues before he started feeling sick. It was a miserable night. I'll spare you the details, but let me just say that the nausea meds didn't work. It was so hard to see him suffering. He was also really achey and overall miserable. At that point in time I felt like I would give anything to have just made him better. It really makes me think about people who have to watch a loved one suffer through chronic illnesses etc.

Tuesday the nausea was more controlled, but Mike was still so miserable. I felt like all his personality had just been sucked away. We had to go back to the cancer clinic to get a pegfilgrastim shot. His blood counts had dropped considerably in the week since they were last checked. It means he has a very weak immune system. The side effects include bone pain and flu-like symptoms (just what we need!) I ended up calling off work for Tuesday night because I couldn't handle leaving him. His parents came up to stay with us, and I knew he would be cared for, but it was more for my sanity I stayed home.

Mike started to improve Wednesday night and was able to keep some food down. He has this crazy sense of smell now, and the chemo makes him smell funny too. He didn't want to drink water because he said it tasted bad and couldn't stand the smell of any food coming up from the kitchen. When I went to kiss him goodbye he said "Eww, did you just eat pickles?" I thought that was funny because I had come straight from having just brushed my teeth. Kind of like pickles :).

I am amazed at how much I can feel the prayers of so many people. I have this sense of peace, and I know things are going to be okay. It doesn't mean it isn't hard, but it sure makes things better! I have a new sense of priorities. I am very much a go, go, go, Type-A personality. I have gotten into a routine of planning in detail my days off of work so that I feel productive. Now I am just taking things one day at a time. My priority is to wake up and see what I can do to help Mike feel better.

I am excited to start a new year. I love feeling like I have a clean slate to work with. It amazes me how much can change in one year, and I'm excited to see what the next year brings!